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April 14th, 2006
09:51 pm - for a friend
1. Give me your number?
2. Watch a movie with me?
3. Fly all the way to Europe to see me?
4. Be my best friend?
5. Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
6. Buy me a alcoholic drink?
7. Take me home for the night?
8. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
9. Sing car karaoke w/ me?
10. Sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
11. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
12. Let me give you a piggyback ride?
13. Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
14. Stay up untill 4 AM just to talk to me?
____________________________________________
Am I's
1. Am I smart?
2. Am I hot?
3. Am I funny?
4. Am I interesting?
5. Am I datable?
____________________________________________
Have you ever?
1. Have you ever thought about me?
2. Have you ever wished I were there?
____________________________________________
Are you's
1. Are you thinking about me?
2. Are you happy you know me?
3. Are you mad at me?
____________________________________________
Do you's
1. Do you hate me?
2. Do you smoke?(be honest)
3. Do you think I smoke?
4. Do you want to be my friend?
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March 20th, 2006
03:56 pm
There. I deleted the stupid entry I wrote. I should have never written it anyways, all it really did was make a bunch of people feel like crap. It didn't even help me that much either because it just made me think about Sam all day again today and feel utterly hopeless.
But here's the deal: Until I am loved again, I will never be happy again. So if you really are my friend, and you really do want me to be happy then love me. And if you can't do that than at least pray or wish or hope that someday someone will. That way I won't feel that you hate me so much that you can't love me and I will feel more like you care about me enough to try to do something to make my life better.
Please don't say stupid things like, "I apologize for whatever entity made you love me." The only person who made me love you was me. It was my choice anyways. If you really do care, then acknowledge the fact that you did love me once, and that we have had fun together before, then at least I think that something good came out of loving you.
As for coming back to Chelsea, I'll try to make it a short trip and get out of your way as soon as I can so that you can go back to Nick and so as to minimize my own suffering.
Until then, if anyone really does care about my life, please pray for me and try to support me however you can. Maybe someday I really will be happy again.
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March 18th, 2006
08:12 am - Let A Boy Cry
I pass through noise and silence, I walk alone
It's a beautiful day, it's raining and it's cold
Reflected onto the wet pavement, can you see what I see?
The trembling image of my eyes that are still free
I pass through noise and silence, I walk alone
It's a beautiful day, it's raining and it's cold
Reflected onto the wet pavement, can you see what I see?
The trembling image of my eyes that are still free
And they say silver, I choose gold
I'm not afraid to be alone
Someone will judge his gentle soul
Let the boy cry and he will know
Chorus:
And they say silver I choose gold wooooo
I've never done as I've been told woh oh oh oh oh
And they say silver I choose gold wooooo
I've never done as I've been told woh oh oh oh oh
And they say silver I choose gold wooooo
I've never done as I've been told woh oh oh oh oh
And they say silver I choose gold wooooo
I've never done as I've been told woh oh oh oh oh
You're always waiting for somebody and you don't like yourself
They made you change, do you remember when you were someone else
Soldiers and dolls won't give away my childhood dreams
I was a pirate, I conquered, and I sailed free
You're always waiting for somebody and you don't like yourself
They made you change, do you remember when you were someone else
Soldiers and dolls won't give away my childhood dreams
I was a pirate, I conquered, and I sailed free
And they say silver, I choose gold
I'm not afraid to be alone
Someone will judge her crazy soul
Let the girl fight and she will know
And they say silver, I choose gold
I'm not afraid to be alone
Someone will judge his gentle soul
Let the boy cry and he will know
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March 9th, 2006
04:08 pm - Chauvenist? I THINK NOT!
From the imortal words of my undying soul:
"Show me a woman who will ask me out, and I will show you true equality!"
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February 5th, 2006
10:11 am - The Birth of a Nation
"And God said 'Let there be light, and suddenly there was an abundance of snow and maple leaves. So God said, 'Eh? What's all this aboot?'"
. . . And thus Canada was formed.
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January 14th, 2006
10:08 pm - PLEASE SHOW THIS TO MIKE SHROENN (SP . . . Sorry Mike)
http://www.myfilehut.com/userfiles/27456/100_0696.jpg
IF ANYONE IN CHELSEA STILL EVEN READS MY LJS ANYMORE, COULD YOU PLEASE SHOW THIS PICTURE TO MIKE SCHROENN. HE DOESN'T HAVE INTERNET AT HOME RIGHT NOW, AND I THINK HE'D LIKE IT.
. . . THINK OF IT AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO ME . . .
. . . OR MAYBE A DYING REQUEST . . .
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December 16th, 2005
05:13 pm
Floating in the sadness of silent repose,
A life once,
Unwritten,
Untold,
Unheard,
Not even a tear rests,
To those before I lay with the dead,
To those now I walk with ghosts,
Invisible,
Till death do us part,
There is no hand,
No shoulder,
No tear,
No remorse,
No thought,
No home,
My life is the wind,
I come,
A lone tree shakes,
And that is all,
My existence,
My living death,
I am man,
I am boy,
I am spirit,
I am ghost,
I am a budding flower,
Cut before bloom,
I am nothing at all,
A vapor,
A speck of dust,
Not even big enough to leave a mark,
Thus I float,
And I sigh,
And I stare up into a sky no one could ever believe.
Current Mood: inexistent
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December 15th, 2005
07:27 am - This is why I don't like to dream . . .
My psychology teacher made us keep a dream log of all of our dreams for two weeks. She even taught us how we could make ourselves dream if we thought we couldn't dream. Believe it or not there's a reason why I don't like dreaming . . .
December 1, 2005
I dreamed that I gave a bag of candy to Duane and he sarcastically thanked me. Then I sat down with Katy, Duane, and Todd and we talked about remixing the “Scooby Doo” theme song. The entire dream was in first person.
December 2, 2005
I dreamed that I was about ten and my mom and dad were getting divorced. I tried to hold them together physically with my arms the way little kids would do if they heard their parents would be separated, but it didn't work so I started to cry. The dream started out in first person perspective, but then switched to third when I tried to hold my parents together.
December 4, 2005
I dreamed that I was looking at myself eating a banana in third person perspective. One of the peels of the banana was peeled off, so that you could see the entire inside. At the bottom, a large red slug was also eating the banana from the bottom up.
December 7, 2005
I dreamed that I was back in my old middle school cafeteria in Michigan. I was sitting, sad and alone, at a table by myself. Then a girl I knew and loved from high school came up to me and told me that she would go out with me if I would only be happy. At first I was overjoyed. I got up and started thinking about where I was going to go with her and what I was going to do, but then I started thinking about all the other people who loved her. I looked at her and she seemed sad, so I thought about the old Disney quote, “If you love someone, then set them free.” At the end of my dream I stood at the cafeteria door, turned to face her and said, “You're free.” She looked up and smiled.
December 8, 2005
I didn't dream today, but when I woke up I was unusually happy for some reason. I woke up to a light outside of my window a few minutes before my alarm clock would have gone off.
December 9, 2005
I had two dreams last night. First I dreamed that I got so sick of the world that I found a way to traverse parallel universes, and went to another Earth similar to ours. When I got there I decided to skateboard with a parallel version of matt, and some other people. We Grinded some rails over by a white van parked at the playground of a parallel version of Shape Elementary School. Then I went to a train station there. I was going to take a train to somewhere else so that I'd be farther away from the parallel versions of people I had known in Shape and Afnorth. But before I could, two girls came up to me, Stephany, and someone else. They siad that they were agents and that they had been watching me for a while. They told me it was time to come back home. Stephany was pointing a gun out of her trench pocket. After hesitating for a moment, I put my arms forward dissapointedly, and they handcuffed me and took me back to my own universe.
In my second dream, I was a young kid, and I had this really awesome and humongous goal. I proudly told my parents about it, but when I did, they looked at me fearfully and told me that my goal was impossible, that I would never be able to achieve that, and that it would be best just to forget such a meaningless goal. I became sad and gave up my goal just as they had told me to do.
December 10, 2005
I had a dream that I was being bitten by three huge mosquitoes the size of my arm. They bit my arm, my hand and my thumb each three times, and then flew away. The welts left by the mosquitoes were big and red, and when I pressed on them they felt hard.
December 11, 2005
I had three dreams last night. In the first one, our family was at a large department store looking for Christmas presents. We passed the computer section and I turned one of the computer monitors off. Then we saw a life-sized version of Hershey's chocolate Syrup. My mom went on ahead while my dad, my sister, and I stayed to look at the chocolate syrup. When my found my mom again she was standing by a set of stairs in the middle of the department store that led down to a large dark room. The stairs, the door to them, and the railing looked just like our old basement in Michigan. The room itself looked like a combination between our old basement in Michigan, and the wooden playground at shape elementary school. Looking down in there, I could see two enormous white objects. My mom said, “Oh they must be workers dressed in yeti suits for the shoppers. She ran down the steps to greet them but she was mauled and eaten. They weren't yeti's they were polar bears. I ran down after her and I got eaten too.
In my second dream I was coming down the stairs to my old dining room in Belgium. It looked like my dining room, but the floor was wooden like our new home is, and there was a big square pool in the middle of it filled with dark, murky water that you couldn't see the bottom of. The pool was off center towards the right, and blocking the thin strip between it and the wall was a large amoire. I tried to walk around the amoire, but I stumbled and my pant leg got wet. My mom who was holding a large twelve-foot roll of fabric noticed me and told me to go around the other way where she was.
Finally in my third dream I was walking down the steps from Shape Elementary school between the elementary section and the high school section. And I saw what seemed to be the girl I loved sitting on one of my best friend's laps. I trusted this friend like a brother, so I knew he would do nothing to hurt her, and he would probably do just as much for her as I would for her, so I was content with her decision, and I wanted to walk down and congratulate them and say that I wasn't mad. But as I got closer I noticed that she wasn't sitting on his lap, but sitting behind him and to the right a bit; and that they weren't dating but just talking, so I paused to look at them for a minute. The boy looked up, smiled and waved to me. For some reason in my dream, he had long red hair and still had his blue eyeshadow on, even though in real life his hair was normally short. I continued to walk on. But as I kept walking down the steps, I saw that same girl again. This time she was sitting alone. When I came near her, she looked up and smiled at me. Her lips were the same vibrant colored red that I had used in photoshop to remake her lips in our prom pictures. I looked at her for a minute. Then I told her that the boy I had seen was up the steps a bit. Neither one of us had seen him in a while, so I knew she would be excited to see him regardless. As she looked up to see him, I walked down the rest of the steps and left.
December 12, 2005
I had two dreams again last night. First, I dreamed that I peed for an hour an a half straight. Then I dreamed that we received presents everyday after Christmas, in Disney world. The first day I got a mini arcade game. The screen was small, and the frame was made of silver plastic. In the front were two gun holsters, with guns attached to the back of the machine.
December 13, 2005
I had a series of mini-dreams last night. First I dreamed that sonic the Hedgehog and a bunch of other colorful sonic characters were rolling underwater. Then I dreamed that I bought an Xbox three-sixty, but it came in parts, so I had to build it myself. I think I also dreamed that the brass part of my Katana sheath broke off again after we had finished gluing it on. And then I dreamed that we went to Disneyworld, which is what we'll be doing over Christmas break. But we only got to the gates, and never actually went inside.
*Note: These came straight (Copy/Paste) from my dream log. I tried to eliminate the names of people from my past to keep them safe from the public eye. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, but these are my dreams. Feel freee to interpret them however you want.
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December 9th, 2005
08:19 pm
One day the whole world looks like an open page.
And you've been dancing as fast as you can,
With a smile on your face.
Then the Earth and the sky they open together,
And carry me away as light as a feather.
Chase the clouds from the ground in the big blue sky.
Don't wanna watch it all go by, so I'm gonna fly.
Higher than I ever could.
Feel the wind blow through my hair,
Feel the sun dance with the moon.
And my feet can't stay on the ground any longer,
With every leap of faith I feel a little stronger.
Wanna swing from a star in the big blue sky.
Don't wanna watch it all go by,
** So I'm gonna fly.
** And see for myself what it looks like from up there.
** And taste the star dust in my mouth,
** Chase the clouds until they disappear.
** And if I can make just one life better,
** Bring a smile to your face when you're under the weather,
** Then I'm feelin' like I've finally found my home.
** I'll plant the seeds and watch them grow.
** And I'm gonna fly.
** Fly. Fly. Fly.
** Higher than I ever, ever could.
I'm gonna fly.
I'm gonna fly.
Higher than I ever, ever could.
++ Interlude ++
** Repeat
. . . . Kiki's Delivery Service . . . .
"And if I can make just one life better,
Bring a smile to your face when you're under the weather,
Then I'm feelin' like I've finally found my home,
I'll plant the seeds and watch them grow,
And I'm gonna fly."
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December 6th, 2005
07:23 am
So currently I'm working on the set of a Christmas Pagent, tutoring Algebra 3 days a week, and in April I'm going down to Slavakia with a bunch of other people from Club Beyond to set up playgrounds for poor Slavakian kids.
Maybe if I do enough good . . . I'll gain super powers! ^^
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November 30th, 2005
05:30 pm - What Love Was . . .
Love was finding someone who mattered to you and you to them,
Love was caring for someone and being cared for by someone,
Love was waking up and thinking about someone, knowing that they too were thinking about you,
Love was being able to know that no matter what you did someone would forgive you,
Love was having someone you could always depend on and who could always depend on you,
Love was finding someone who tries to help you even when you don't need it,
Love was knowing that no matter what you do someone will still be there supporting you,
Love was feeling necessary to someone,
Love was being special to someone,
Love was feeling accepted because just one little person accepted you the way you were,
Love was feeling worth something to someone rather than just to yourself,
Love was having someone always see in you things that you couldn't see in yourself,
Love was being completely worthless and still having someone see some worth in you,
Love was knowing that if something bad happened to you, someone would be sad,
Love was knowing that even if you die, you will still exist in someone's heart,
Love was coming back after a 20 year journey, and still having someone remember your face,
Love was finding someone who will stand by your side forever,
Love was making a conscious commitment to someone everyday,
Love was being able to say “I love this person,” without feeling embarassed or insecure,
Love was being able to sacrafice yourself for someone,
Love was being able to put all things aside just to be there for someone,
Love was doing anything you can to protect or help someone,
Love was doing something for someone without having to ask first,
Love was doing something good for someone everyday, just for the sake of making them happy,
Love was being able to do anything for someone,
Love was changing yourself for the better for someone even if they didn't want you to,
Love was making yourself feel better just because someone wanted you to,
Love was being able to be happy no matter how bad things get, because you know that someone out there wants so much for you to be happy that they would sacrifice their own happiness for yours,
Love was being able to think about a girl without feeling perverted,
Love was knowing a girl who would be sad if you were casterated,
Love was not taking advantage of someone even if it benefits you,
Love was taking a drunk girl back to her house without her ever worrying that you did something to her while she was drunk, and vise versa,
Love was refusing to have sex with someone even if they ask you to, because you know that it might hurt them,
Love was building a pillar that could never be knocked down,
Love was eternal,
Love was my reason to exist,
Love was dancing,
Love was never being alone,
Love was my favorite thing in the world,
Love was being asked “What does it matter to you?” and being able to say “She matters to me.”
That's what love was to me . . .
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November 24th, 2005
03:58 pm
Well it's thanksgiving,
And I'm lonely and sick,
I'm not even going to be able to taste my turkey . . .
Happy thanksgiving everybody . . .
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sob.gif) lonely
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November 21st, 2005
08:58 pm - Electric Pickle Bladed Death Bunnies - 01 Tiny European Cars (Enjoy! ^^)
Author's Notes:
~ Yes, this is a comic *LOOSELY* based on the many humorous events of my life.
~ Yes, I am currently living in Holland, the scene of this first strip.
~ Yes, a bilboard extremely similar in likeness to the one in this strip does exist by a bus stop near my house.
~ No, I did not nor will I ever stared at said bilboard for more than approxamately 3 seconds.
~ No, THIS IS NOT PORN! (The comic, not the bilboard.)
~ And finally, Yes, PORN IS A VERY VERY BAD THING! I can happily say that the only porn I have ever had on my computer are the ones I accidentally downloaded (and have never actually viewed) from a certain friend back in Chelsea when I aquired his entire music collection (I'm to lazy to hunt them all down an destroy them.) Real things are better than pictures. Therefor, I am porn free! ^^
Expect to see a whole bunch more strips where this came from! (though hopefully less perverted) ^^
ELECTRIC PICKLE BLADED DEATH BUNNIES IS OFFICIALLY ON LJ!!!! \/\/007!
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November 14th, 2005
10:16 pm - "Rise"
I'm a soldier, meaning that I'm
Both the defendent and the judge
I'm standing on both sides of the fire
Going around turns, overtaking death and life
I'm running to fight with the shadow of a lie
No matter how many threads deception would weave
Truth will show its face of light
*Save your tears
for the day
when our pain is far behind
on your feet
come with me
we are soldiers stand or die
*Save your tears
for the day
when our pain is far behind
on your feet
come with me
we are soldiers stand or die
Save your fears
take your place
save them for the judgement day
fast and free
follow me
time to make the sacrifice
we rise or fall
Save your fears
take your place
save them for the judgement day
fast and free
follow me
time to make the sacrifice
we rise or fall
I'm a soldier, born to stand
in this waking hell I am
witnessing more than I can compute I'm a soldier, born to stand
in this waking hell I am
witnessing more than I can compute
pray myself we don't forget
lies, betrayed and the oppressed
please give me the strength to be the truth pray myself we don't forget
lies, betrayed and the oppressed
please give me the strength to be the truth
people facing the fire together
if we don't, we'll lose all we have found people facing the fire together
if we don't, we'll lose all we have found
*repeat
After a dream to the edge of a chasm
Only that way can the world be saved
Don't you cry,
Hide the tears,
Because a new day will start
Your fire
Will be heated
By thousands of hearts
But now get up
Hide the pain and fear far
The one who's right will win
Know that everything is in your hands
*repeat
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November 11th, 2005
04:39 pm
Some piece of crap just told my sister our address and that they were going to come to our house and rape her.
You know what I have to say to that?
Fuck Off.
You want to rape someone? Try me. I have a four foot greatsword, and not too much to live for anymore. I'll end your problems honorably. Don't go around scaring little girls.
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07:34 am - Finally, a Good Dream . . .
I was walking through part of Tokyo to get to school, on my way there I saw a large pool of water with a fountain in it. The next thing I knew, I was wading through the water. My pants were all wet, but no one laughed. I noticed my pants and tried to say "Domo," (Thank You) but a red head girl corrected me saying, "Ea, Gozaimasu" meaning an honorary term to those around you. Then she smiled and kept walking. I followed her to the airport, because I couldn't remember how to get to my house and I flew back to Chelsea. I went back to the robotics room, and saw James and that Josh Kid and Jeremy and Lucas and Anna there, just like the day before I left. Then I went home and talked to my dad about going back to Japan. We knew we'd get back their someday . . .
I miss you guys . . .
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/thoughtful.gif) nostalgic
Current Music: Somewhere Only We Know
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November 9th, 2005
06:55 pm - Today's Unpleasantries
"Ewww, what the heck is that! Get away from me!"
"Well, it's not like you have any close friends!"
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November 2nd, 2005
11:08 pm - Oh this is the funniest one of all!
Cady Heron
Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
lol I think I'll go to bed now.
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kyos_leahcim's journal
